Before the Grief: Questions to Ask

Important questions to ask the folks we love about how they want us to support them in grief, loss, and pain. And the importance of asking before the need arises. Here are more questions we should be asking our friends: 1. Who should I call first if something happens to you? 2. If you become seriously ill, how do you want me to support you? 3. What music or books bring you comfort when you are struggling? 4. If you are hospitalized, who should I reach out to on your behalf? 5. How do you prefer to be comforted when you are in pain – space, company, food, distractions? 6. Are there specific foods or drinks that bring you comfort in hard times? 7. What should I absolutely not say to you when you’re grieving? 8. Who in your life should I check on if you die? 9. If you disappear emotionally, how should I pull you back? 10. Do you want a particular ritual or tradition to be honored when you die? 11. If you’re struggling financially due to illness or grief, how would you want me to help? 12. Do you have letters, videos, or messages you want delivered to loved ones if you die? 13. When you lose someone you love, how do you want me to support you? 14. Are there specific anniversaries that might be hard for you? How can I show up? 15. If you ever feel like you’re drowning, what words or actions help you stay afloat? 16. If I ever notice you pulling away, how should I approach you without making it worse? 17. If you take your own life, who would likely be the one to tell me?